Erroneous Vision, Factual Affair (Page from a diary)

Away at twilight enchanted till dawn, I lay without care as my mind travels far. Will I return in time for my keep, or will I stir anger because of my affair? My eyes start to twinkle as my mind brings you hear. Your smile caresses my thoughts. Your looks they thank me for allowing your presence. An existence no one would allow, but brought to life with the thinking of a faulty heart. Quickly you take me and shower me with the essence of your being. Holding me here with your inspiration a cast forth charm of your unlikeliness. I surrender, turning every inner thought of reality toward my unrestricted realm of selfishness. Who will roam the imagination of another to catch lovers in a deceitful tangle? Let’s just lose thought in our own reverie. Let there be no firmament between us. Love vastly and thoughtlessly, until our worlds are captured. No evolution, no day or night. Just us, the entity of twilight, and our erroneous decisions. Be careful not to be saddened when all aspirations become unstable and be survived by reality. When the eyes of the mind become open, know that thy keep is a burden of reality. But I am the erroneous vision that thy heart holds without remorse. Know that one day, when you’ve departed your duty, I will have laid a path for you to find me. Lay love, close your eyes and let the door of your heart open unto your imagination. Sweep carelessly through all thine desires until you’ve ascended to me. Passing from the evening until the twilight where you so vigorously sought me, here will I be waiting. It was not I that willed thee to be present, and not thyself that beckoned me, for it was thy keep that realized his mistaken decision and released you to your heart’s desire.

Can Two Hold / Bow Out Please!

Can Two hold one of your hands,
can you dance with rhythm if two ask to dance,
can two sit for dinner when time has come,
for dinner to be served for resevations with one,
can two lay with you and offer you this,
a hug, a smile, and a passionate kiss
can two share one heart and be loved both the same,
who will be answered when two calls your name,
can two carry one child to be born unto one,
will two cater to you when all's said and done,
can two be responsible for earning your trust
or will two make it difficult when it comes time for us
can two say I need you and not make you confused,
will one be defiant and some how feel used
can two share your heart and it's limited space,
without feeling at loss for your love in this race
so if the one knows that the other belongs rightfully
she should respect herself and bow out gracefully?
with understanding she knew the other belongs in yur life
cause only two can make up a husband and wife
what she has she could've got when it was her time
but disrespectfully she returned and stepped out of line
with hurt in this heart and fire in these veins
I display my womanhood and consume the dealt pain
Please understand that I've loved you from start
but Two cannot hold one key to your heart.

....Pain....

Have you ever hurt so bad and you couldn't touch the pain?
No matter how you tried to subdue it was something you couldn't contain?
Did it hurt so deep inside, til nothing could take it away?
Did it make you want to cry and regret seeing the next day?
Have you loved with all you had, til there was nothing left to give?
Did it take all you had inside til you felt no reason to live?
When it burned like an inferno could anything quench the fire?
To ditch out the pain you were given, was that your hearts only desire?
Was the desire there so strong til everything you touched was burned?
To know not to give love so much, was a lesson your heart never learned?
Until you tame it never to wonder and perhaps feel nothing again?
You'll forever be consumed in your fire and burn in the inferno of pain!

Before You Go

Did I ever tell you, you meant alot to me
I thank you for standing tall to be all that you could be
So much went unsaid after all that you have done
and if anyone made me smile, I'd say you were the one
For all the times you told me that things would be okay
I'd take back all the times I cried to give you one more day
If I thought you would receive it, a message I would send
but it seems that when I talk, my voice is carried away in the wind
There's just so many things that I wished for you to know
I hope your spirit can read my heart and know these things before you go

Do I Cry?

As the clouds overflow and burst open with rain
my heart it gets heavy and aches sorely with pain
When I turn my head and you see me walk by
my face holds no trace, so you ask do I cry?
I tilt my head slightly to think on myself,
would I have this problem bein' with someone else
I give in to you the harder I try
you know that this hurts me
still you ask do I cry?
Be strong and stand tall, don't bend or don't break
sometimes I ask "How much more can I take?!"
I repeatedly accept each one of your lies,
when you walk away still you ask do I cry?
Enough is enough and I can't take no more!
I cry every night behind these secret closed doors
When I steal away and sometimes act strange
if you seen me cry, then would things change
As sure as the rain falls with force from the sky
there are times when I hurt and "Yes I do cry!"

Patiently Awaiting Black Summers' Night

I'm so into hiM and maybe I shouldn't be,
If you come please don't go
I don't want you leaving me
You're my sun, moon and stars
the forever blowing breeze
The hula swaying movements
in God's beautiful planted trees
The rays that gently fall
and collide with the earth
The feeling that's so wonderful
when a mother's given birth
You've been my Mellowsmooth cure
The CoCo in my Ascension
I'm yours Whenever, Wherever, for Whatever
For a Lifetime need I mention
BSN this Reunion's what I am planning
Lonely is no company
It can be so damned demanding
Needless to say,
Know these things shouldn't you
And me Gettin' to know Ya
wasn't just something for me to do
I am longing for your coming
Like a army mans' lonely wife
It's been overwhelming
Eachoureachsecondeachminuteachday of my life
The next time you leave
Please allow us a little time
I'll settle for a little Sumpthin
If it'll last me a whole Lifetime
So please understand in me
An addiction you have sewn
Your my only cure
and these Symptom are Unknown
So Fortunate that you're back
and this is how I feel
I know that Black Summers' Night
Is strictly on the For Real


...Love Ya Maxwell...

(To My Niece Sierra) Angelic Spice

Smile, it's beautiful! So innocent and naive.
An angel in training determined to achieve
Willing and able, but cautious in her plans
Wings of an angel soaring high to advance
Black and beautiful, careful not to touch
Even in her innocence, she still carries much
Words carefully chosen, respectfully and fluently brought
only words that are decent, were hidden in her thoughts
A throw of the hand when ears are not open
eyes roll to the side when ones words were not carefully spoken
A harnessed mouth open, words spilled and tossed
Poured into the air, like cayenne sauce
What? Attitude of an angel? No just boldly suggested
Wings clipped and tucked when faced and contested
Eyes still twinkling, from all the innocence within
Face from severely inflamed to a child-like grin
An ingenuous explanation when questioned about the world
Flying high above ignorance as just a baby girl
Destination planned and not ever dealing with mess
Life will play her fairly only giving her the best
Hand on her hip while she tells her whole story
The time has not come, but she still protest the glory
Mind so well spoken and never meaning to harm
Cutting straight to the chase casting a hurt felt charm
She's beautiful, young, innocent and very very nice
But a part of this spiritual being holds some Angelic Spice!

Unborn Child

Sometimes I cry because arguments of me
Am I a mistake and wasn't meant to be
Will I ever live outside this space and
one day see the beautiful face
of this wonderful woman who loves me so much
Will I be held and gently touched
Will I learn what she's teaching me or will
someone else decide what my fate might be
Will I be born into this world and learn to stand
or will I be given over to God's loving hands
Will they ever want to hear me talk or
hand in hand will we forever walk
Will I ever grow to be short or tall
or given the chance to be born at all
I'll lay and wait wondering all the while, but
I'll never know if I'm an unborn child

A letter To Maxwell

Maxwell,

There is one who calls out to you in the day and searches for you by night. Hearken unto her whispers, fall deep into her caresses and let her mind sweep your thoughts. Her eyes will be an ocean, wide open to your beckon call. Let her inner beauty console your heart and her atmosphere intertwine with your soul. As she spreads her wings, lose thought and let her carry you to her secret place. Just close your eyes, and that's where she'll be

........Patientlywaiting......

Libertine Flame

Confusing but beautiful, the motion with no rhythm
dancing wildly and unruly letting my hips entice them
Every movement I make becomes dangerously untamed
jolting loosely like a heart that's been seriously maimed
Spreading so quickly to claim all denied lands
my looks mesmerizing with taste hot and bland
This dance I provide makes my victory sweet
showing passion for being so indiscreet
I offer no apology for this secret affair
Making love to the eyes when the heart is not there
The heart is deceitful and wants ends to this quest
but these moves that I make put eyes to rest
Even I can calm minds and change wicked thoughts
with my fingers dancing wildly many hearts I have caught
Against dark nights I provide moments with ease
watching lovers and the loved take time to please
Every once in awhile they cheat love to watch me
revealing all secrets for my eyes to see
Provoking my dance they cater my grounds
and beside me all night their minds they lay down
Be quick to subdue the want for my desire
and careful not to touch this rhythm less fire

If Heaven Ever Opens

If Heaven ever opens and presents it's pretty smile,
I'll awaken from the state that I've lain in all the while
Open my eyes to see everything so clearly,
praying for the way things would, could and should be
Reach for more and more, take chances and grab hold,
opening my mouth at last to stories never told
Walk the path before me that's forever been the way,
to dreams scattered by night and struggles aligned by day
I want the dance of victory the taste that's oh so sweet,
shouting cares away and putting troubles under my feet
Sing the song of joy to my heart's greatest content
of all the joyous smiles that the beautiful skies have lent
Watch the precious rays fall gently upon my face
sending all tears away, fleeing without a trace
I feel the time has come but it all depends
if Heaven ever opens and smiles on me again

Imagining.....Nothing

Ah! I've finally made it to my dream scape. No sunshine, no clouds, just a beautiful blue sky. Some how so plain that it's tantalizing nothingness tickles my insides. No sounds, no matter, nor a drip of mist. Just breezes flowing gently, caressing my face. Grass so green and as tall as the imagination that brought me here. Hiding me from all reality seeking so desperately to find me. I lay and stare at the nothings above, smiling to myself as it admires my being. I can dance with the sky and it dips me politely, wind twirling my body as we tangle in bliss. So distant and empty, but filled with much wonder. It sweeps my thoughts curiously. As much as I enjoy the light displaying my darker shade, I'd rather much have this cotton candy against my existence. Not quite Heaven, but my own little universe, nothingness and true blue forever beckoning my existence to be present within itself. I love the way it provides such sufficient space, casting it's net to protect my delicate shell. It's gratitude toward my psychological and affective state. Unchallenged in it's inspiration and less filled representation. It's everything, but nothing and only I hold it's destiny. I love this place, nothingness and me and it's gentle breath on my face.